Once upon a time I had a goal. I actually had many goals & then I became a mother. My favorite & biggest & coolest goal before becoming a mother was to see a new country every single year. (At least 1 per year). I managed to go to Germany, Austria, Switzerland, Mexico and the Bahamas all before I turned 18. When I unexpectedly got pregnant at 20.5 years old, I knew my goal was never to be achieved. So, I made my first compromise as a mother, I decided I would let each of those countries count for 1 year a piece, still not truly accepting the goal was unattainable. Once reality set it, I knew I was never even going to go to the bathroom alone again, let alone another country. That was a big fucking bummer. Becoming a mother was NEVER a goal of mine, in fact, the thought had not even crossed my mind, oops. I suppose that was part of how that happened. ANYWAY…..
I’m a glass half full kind of gal so instead of throwing my goal completely away and sulking for the remainder of my life, I revised the goal to something more realistic…. I would see a NEW state every year. This seemed more feasible & definitely had better chances of being accomplished. Prior to being an adult, at age 15, I once took a trip, driving to Chicago, IL. I had never previously left the state of Florida (Alabama doesn’t count considering I could throw a rock & hit it)….so I was going to count that in my pre-tally incase I had some dry years where I never went anywhere or saw anything.
Back to my point, once upon a time I had a goal and upon that time I had to revise it. Since I am holding a glass half full, I reminded myself that some people have never even left the place they were born. Never, like ever. Now if that isn’t a tragedy, I don’t know what is. I heard someone once say they had never seen an ocean. Wow. Now that is something that blew my mind. How could that be? I suppose that was no different from me not seeing real snow until the age of 19 but still…snow vs ocean….the two are not comparable.
So, with a pregnant belly and a revised plan, I was as set as I was ever going to be. Who could even imagine all the shit you have to give up to become a parent? I really had no idea, I mean, I thought I knew, but I didn’t really KNOW KNOW.
Back to my story….I have managed to achieve my revised goal and now, I have lived in Florida, Alabama, California & New Jersey and also worked in Philly. (Let me briefly add that I would gladly have lived without ever setting foot in the state of New Jersey if I could turn back time but I can’t, moving on) …..And I have traveled to Florida, Georgia, Alabama, Mississippi, Louisiana, Texas, California, Tennessee, South Carolina, North Carolina, Washington D.C. (not a state), Virginia, Kentucky, Illinois, Pennsylvania, New Jersey, DELAWARE, Maryland, West Virginia, New York, Massachusetts & New Hampshire . I’d say I’m doing pretty damn good. So, even though you have to give up basically everything when you become a parent, you still have to hold on to something that is your own, you have to keep at least one of your dreams if not more. I held on to this tiny little dream of mine I had to see the world, even if I had to revise it to just one continent in the world….
On to the moral of my story….good things come to people who wait, hold half full glasses, get a good job, save a bunch of money and abandon their children for over a week because at age 27, I got to add TWO whole new countries to my long lost goal, France and the magical world of Ireland!
Yes! I went to Ireland at age 27 and with 3 small children, except I left them at home. But now that I have seen Ireland, I feel like I have seen enough of the world to last me a lifetime! And to boot, even if I hadn’t gone to the other countries or the many states, who knew I would be perfectly happy just being a mommy? If you would have told me that 20 years ago, I would have died laughing and thought you to be insane. So I don’t know if Ireland is the icing or the cake but I know that being a mommy, even though it is such a thankless job has been the greatest adventure of my life and wouldn’t trade it for any bit of travel in the world!
The End.
Signed,
The mommy who works for free
mommyworks4free 